29 Reasons why your team won't win
Cousin Marianne got herself a ball..............that a girl!!! ( Cousin Tommy on "the hold" )
1. Because the Dodgers are the best team in Baseball.
2. Because the Astros are really good and are way more talented than your team.
3. Because the Cubbies have woken up ( like I thought they would ) and will now drill those "wannabe's" into submission.... ( see Brewers )
4. Because the Nationals will homer you to death and your team can't keep up.
5. Because the Yankees are young and fun to watch again, unlike your team..... ( see Giants )
6. Because the Tribe has been there and they have Francona.
7. Because the Royals are scorching hot and will "choke-slam" you into trading them 3 excellent arms for relatively nothing.
8. Because the Redsox got rid of the Panda and Price went on the DL ( both good developments for post-season success )
9. Because the D-backs picked up that guy from Detroit and got rid of LaRussa and Stewart last year.......whew.....just in time :)
10. Because the Rockies will beat up on your lesser team but get crushed against the aforementioned contenders.
11. Because the Rays will continue to surprise, hang in there a bit, and then ultimately disappoint ( like an ex-girlfriend )
12. Because the Brew Crew have Ryan Braun and 2 former A's who were released playing prominent roles. Not good.
13. Because the Cardinals are dysfunction junction and their manager wrote a book.....oh, and they traded Matt Adams way too soon.
14. Because the Pirates have a fake ace ( Gerrit Cole ) and a manager who makes some questionable moves late in the game.
15. Because the Mets are the Mess, and they always play red-headed step child in NY :)
16. Because the Mariners just can't get over that "Northwest hump" and obtain those good folks trust up there. Plus their GM reminds me of "Trader Jack" from back in the day........the dude has a "trade-addiction" Not good for the looking over your shoulder crowd.
17. Because the Rangers are talking about selling and they have too many "all or nothing" type hitters...plus it's about 120 degrees every day in Texas for the next couple months. Brutal.
18. Because the Braves hightailed it for the lily white suburbs after much success in the ATL - shame on them.
19. Because the Twinkies are counting on Ervin Santana to be an ace and that is never a good thing.
20. Because the Angels have a broken down Pujols, no pitching and a manager who somehow still has a job. Do you think his message is a little stale these days??
21. Because the Tigers have a broken down Cabrera and the GM is the catcher's father.......Dad, please don't trade me......not good for the clubhouse.
22. Because Toronto got old quickly and their manager is a "red-ass" who is constantly out-managed late in the game, that's not going to change.
23. Because the Orioles throw batting practice.......to everyone.
24. Because the Marlins are for sale and their owner is busy picking up new "art pieces".....but they did get rid of Barry Bonds :)
25. Because the Padres have better things to do....a la the beach, bikinis, sun tans and perfect weather.
26. Because the A's are in a perpetual holding pattern, and that includes the fans who mostly don't come out to the yard..... They should make jerseys with velcro on the back for the fans so they can keep up with the "revolving door" roster........hhhhmmmmmmm
27. Because the Reds couldn't possibly keep up that first 2-month stretch ( we knew that ) and they signed Homer Bailey long-term ( terrible name for a pitcher ) and continue to keep Votto in contention purgatory.
28. Because the White Sox have the #1 rated farm system in MLB - that's not good when you are playing Major Leaguers.
And # 29 is ......
Because the Giants welcomed back Barry Bonds with open arms...... It's called Karma Babe.......and they are reaping it.